Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
