Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
