Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
