Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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