do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
