Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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