is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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