That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
