i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
