ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
