why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
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