fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Randomize
