Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
