He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Please don't give away my fajitas
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
