Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
