I want to stick my p in your. b.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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