u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I am available for nakedness
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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