I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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