420 ftw
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
