I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Randomize
