i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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