To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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