she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize