But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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