Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
