You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
