respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
