were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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