in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
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