walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
