True but thats because hes a fetus.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
foreskin is a definite game changer
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
