I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
