any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize