This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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