So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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