Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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