I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
