Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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