Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
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