New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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