Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
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