Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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