WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
