So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
