I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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