How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
