"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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