We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
you didnt know i had herpes?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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