i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
