she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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