you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
