Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
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