Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
smell my finger.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
