No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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