omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
