Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
