Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

ADVERTISEMENT

Sorry heartsdid hasn't picked any favorites yet.

ADVERTISEMENT

(805): View more from California

do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?

Fav 10 2792 1333
share tweet
(314): View more from Missouri

eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth

Fav 26 1197 4910
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(860): View more from Connecticut

So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.

Fav 85 11154 2920
share tweet
(608): View more from Wisconsin

It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.

Fav 10 3860 1468
share tweet
(410): View more from Maryland

There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional

Fav 11 4940 1645
share tweet
(443): View more from Maryland

the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE

Fav 5 2217 1172
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(604): View more from British Columbia

Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.

Fav 10 2160 886
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(651): View more from Minnesota

I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.

(715): View more from Wisconsin

I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.

Fav 3 927 687
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT

(650): View more from California

Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter

Fav 0 4 28
share tweet

ADVERTISEMENT