as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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