so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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