Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
