a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
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