I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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