If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
