Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
