you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
