haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
She told me I should be a condom model.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
